for a couple of hours, she just hugged me while eyeing him and after accepting the fact that daddy was really there in person, she just went 2 daddy like he never left. What a tricky situation you are all in! She is the GRANDmother, not the mother. But in about a week things changed, and he was starting to want me again. Thank you and keep your heads up!! What happened? It is not your fault that the first few months were very tough. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. Push her away and put your foot down. She didnt when she newborn and she doesnt now. The short answer to that question is, thankfully, no. I guess what really hurts my feelings is that when she is home is her dad and then I come home, she could care less. !<3 n Yes no matter how they are with you, you love them soooooo much without something in return! Somewhere around this age, babies start realizing that they are a separate person from their mom. The most common reason a baby would begin to reject the breast after receiving a bottle is that the bottle was an easier route to take. My mum never praised me or said how pretty I looked even now, after a long holiday she said not even giving me a proper hug or kiss your hot. At least I say to my baby boy that I love him that am proud of him. Create a soothing atmosphere 3. She is breastfed but dh has been been When I first began reading these comments most were talking about their 6 to 8 months old infants. And console her when she is sad. The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. Most times I doubt she even knows that I am her mother. Your toddler has been used to having mom all to themselves. Some babies who take a bottle early . and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. My husband sees him an hour per day if that and goes out of town a lot. My mother says she must feel secure with me and to be happy she has such a good relationship with her fatherand I am. I dont think putting your whole life in a more stressful state by moving should be your first choice, in case living with your mom works well in all other aspects. But I see no end to this..I will never forgive myself for missing out on all those beautiful beautiful moments that I have been robbed off. Is that true? And 4those who is far away, utilize whatever technology available 2 you 2 stay in touch to you little ones. I just want to cry and cry. she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). well, its not. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. Hi sad dad, So everything stabilized for me. So the estrangement between the two of you became mutual. Also, when you come home, try to be together with them together with your wife as much as possible, so that their separation anxiety regarding mom doesnt come between the three of you. so its my mom or her caretaker. She just says well what can i do/say. Pls help. Even the same morning, she wanted to be with me and when she woke up from her nap, she did not want me around. Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. Before Baby Comes. I guess maybe now i feel like maybe he knows that I didnt want him at first because he has always been a little distant with me since he was born. thanks for listening to my views. A ground-breaking study has found that mothers can go back to work months after the birth of their child without the baby's wellbeing suffering as a result. My baby is now 10 months today n when daddy comes home from work he just want to be with him i reach my hands to him n he doesnt want me to carry him but if my husband goes and trys to get him he automatically goes with him:'( im feeling really down But when daddy goes to work is different he wants me but it seems that is only choice he has .. When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. While he seems to love me insofar as he smiles at me and reaches for me, he doesnt really notice if I leave to go in to another room or whatever. I feel like a lazy, uninvolved mother and I hate it. Since I read your post I have been praying for you every day. Secondly, it will help you and your hubby becoming partners in parenting more. in return they are telling me dun seperate them from my child wat can i do . Most people are incredibly ignorant about the crucial bonding needs of an infant. except some weekends I have to work away from home (Overnight). My gal is nw 8 1/2 mths . The bond is there, and you obviously love her very much. Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. And even after that, it is still entirely possible to bond. Yeah, as you can see, it is common! Im so glad I found this post! You sound beyond sad, really despairing. I feel like she doesnt need me at all, she doesnt care if i am around or not, when her dad comes to see her she gets happy and he only comes once a week and sometimes he wont come for 2 weeks!!! Getting the Right Child Care. this is not your fault. It will pass. I dont know what to do, I have to work to support her, and I want that bond. If you can accept that OK, right now she prefers her dad, but that doesnt mean that I am bad or that she hates me. That is not to say that you dont have a real problem. Choosing which wars to fight as a parent makes a big difference. A few months ago my fiance lost her job and is at home 24/7. in the meantime I feel like a monster that frightens her ??! I want to know if there are commonalities that us moms share. My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. Please advice what should I do. Its been in the past few weeks that I have noticed that my almost year old son basically forgets that Im here when my husband or my mother walks in the door. Six weeks is the average length of time needed for a mom to recover after giving birth. I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. It only means that she prefers her dad right now. then you can start looking and working forward instead of looking back. I strongly recommend you to get it! Please someone help me with this I dont want to hate my mom but more than anything I dont want my son to bond better to her. Ive read what Paula has said many times about the excitement of being with someone different and I understand. I am really concerned with my family in the way how my daughter prefers only me when I am around. I cant stop crying. Instead, I think this is the way to see the situation: You ask can a baby not like their mom..? When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. You and your wife disagree on how to deal with several issues regarding your son and you take on the role of being the one disciplining him. Parental separation anxiety is normal, especially when going back to work after maternity leave. Which is great but I feel useless. You ask about the girl not wanting to talk to mom on the phone. i try to spend the most of my time with her but maybe its not enough, i wish i knew where i went wrong. I have 7 month old baby girl and she is not at all attached to me. I dont know what to do. I work 6 days a week an Im home at nights but when he sees me he wont come to me and when I pick him up he throws his head back an starts to kick an screaming an he either runs to his mom or anyone else an its really killing me inside an it makes me feel he doesnt want me but like everybody else Im the only one that can put him to sleep an calm him down but its just hurts me that he doesnt want to be around me my heart is broken I been told it was a phase but I dont know bout that What can I do to want him to want me? My youngest daughter is almost 2 years old. Disguise the bottle. He will be picked up and carried around for the smallest incident. Maybe you can decide that she goes out a couple of evenings a week, so that you can keep 100% focus on having a good time with your daughter. You asked me specifically about whether it would be a good idea if your daughters dad would do mroe of the boring stuff with your daugther and not just you. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. Im a single 18 year old mother who still lives at home with my parents and siblings. You sound like a fabulous mom. I think children, at least those without attachment disorders (could this be a possibility with your daughter, I cant recall if you wrote that your little girl IS attached to her dad and just not to you? For many adopted children, it certainly IS different t be adopted. I feel like she associates me with all things bad (i.e. That is wonderful for your little daughter! Third, it gives you a possibility to do something else than taking care of your daughter. Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. I wonder why this isnt written about or talked about more widely. Here's what we tried, and what finally worked! I take care of her so nicely and to the best of efforts but she doesnt like me. I loved my baby boy the minute I saw the ultrasound. I am so happy that my two main men have such a great relationship, but I want to share in it too! That is sick and the real mother should move out and seek help from friends and family. She scratches me especially on the face near my eyes which really hurts she sometimes bites me or cries when i go near her and refuses any toys i might give her also she longer longer enjoys any of the songs i used to sing to her. I am very responsive with both. Is there anything i can do to help them bond? Things went downhill from there. 11. And even being so young, she can sense your tension, which might make her slightly stressed, if that is how you feel. If she wants help then she should take her to day care then then she will start to understand the women picking her up is her mother. Hi Consider your overall financial picture. She was with me mornings and nights. When he comes home, her face glows in a way that its never glowed for me. Hope this gives someome some encouragement Things really do get better with time. Not that I know who to be cross with anyway.Ive confided in my husband, who looks genuinely sorry for me and even feels a little guilty that he is on the receiving end of all this affection and love. but Ive become hardened to it. She seems to have the same behavior with my wife too. Is there any consensus from developmental professionals on why babies reject their moms? If he feels scared or sick she is the only person who can comfort him. Hi! I breastfed him, co-slept, whenever something would be wrong he would want to be pick up by me. She gets hysterical if I take her off him. My mom stayed with me for the first four months to help me out. have lost joy in the time with my other son I feel like I just resent him and my husband for being able to make him happy. Just remember you are a good mother for having these feelings!! i completely agree with you and also want to add that our love and care is imprinting our children on a sub-concious level. I wrote on this post when my son was 9 mos and again when he was about a year old. This is probably one of the most important things that helps to deal with working mom anxiety. She does not have any memories of you crying and even if she did, she wouldnt hate you for it. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. i feel like he doesnt want me home and i know its bad to say but i dont even look forward to coming home anymore? Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. Paula, please give me some advice! At 15 months, she lives in the present. After her leather boots and Gucci throw shopping spree she was obviously not able to pay her rent. Still, for those of us who are lucky enough to have companies that offer small amounts of paid maternity leave, it's still much shorter than most other countries and often ends far before mom and baby are ready. Or maybe you will visit your baby at their child care provider during your lunch break and breastfeed. My point is this this WILL pass. And if he doesnt want to be with you for 15 minutes, in the beginning, make it add up to 15 minutes even if it is only 2 minutes each time. Do I leave my son and my partner so they can be together, or do I stay and let them make me feel worse. I am a stay at home mom with an almost one year old baby girl. This will help you to feel connected with your baby. Those five weeks where he preferred his daddy over me where the hardest things Ive had to face since becoming a mum. Anyways here is the question: The childs mother wants to see her but obviously we are afraid shell take off again. In addition, I really think you should start reading books about adoption if you havent already. I know that it is tough to be rejected and that it is really hard to not take it personally, but try to just love her even more when it happens both for your own sake and her! Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. Understand your employer's leave policy, if you qualify for FMLA, and if any state or local laws impact parental leave. I think I made a huge mistake leaving her for 4 months or something similar. She would be able to go years without knowing anything about us. Since you live with your parents, your situation is quite similar to that of all dads (usually), who work and come home, only to find that their child prefers mom, who is around all the time. There are a few things I would like to say to you. When my husband and I return from work (both at the same time) he always searches for his father and greets him with a big smile, as for me he ignores me completely and I am the one that plays with him most. I dont know what to do. It hurts me so much inside and i dont know what to do. Hi my 9 1/2 month old boy is with me all day since birth now daddy is home with me since he got laid off I do everything for him. I have not seen the same reaction for me. We have great fun when its just the two of us, playing and laughing. Does anyone have any success stories in terms of their baby eventually being more bonded to them? have a 7 month old baby and have been going through the same thing ever since he was born. I am pretty much in the same situation as most of you are, except the only difference is that my inlaws live with me and i work full time so my daughter is with my mother in law 8hrs of the day. 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